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Aikido
I have decided to take up Aikido.
I originally wanted to take up Krav Maga, but I tried it and it did a number on my shoulder and hip joints. I also wasn't as keen on the energy of the place. I can't really put my finger on it, but it just wasn't what I need emotionally, I think. Even though I love the idea of being able to kick ass like a special ops warrior, I think Aikido is a better fit for me. Even though I am not a pacifist, I think my desire to become more centered and work on my anxiety, depression, and self-worth -- and my desire to eliminate my dependence on unhealthy coping mechanisms -- may be served well by the spiritual component of Aikido.
Mental Health
My anxiety has gotten bad recently. Some of it is situational -- just experiencing some extra stress and conflict in my life -- but some of it is mysterious. The other night my anxiety was so horrible, and I have no clue why. I hadn't had any alcohol, hadn't had anything terrible happen. It was simply there. It woke me up about 2am and I was up miserable for the rest of the night. One thought is that it was the soda I drank since I don't usually drink soda.
My depression has been bad the past couple of days, and it really hit me today. I am really down in the dumps, but I am trying to keep from emoting too much because my husband is in a really great mood and I don't want to ruin it for him. It might be PMS. I am due for my period soon, so that would make sense. I am starting to feel a bit overly sensitive. I HATE that. I feel crazy and it is embarrassing.
I drank. My goal was to go a year without alcohol, and I only made it a month without alcohol. It feels like SO MUCH LONGER. I had a very difficult conflict with someone, which made me feel like shit about myself and my anxiety was horrible, and so I had alcohol to chill out.
Fall of Society
I have come to the realization recently that, if society were to fall and we would have to return to a scavenging, tribalistic society not unlike the ones on The Walking Dead, that I would have no skills that would serve society. My "professional skills," if you can call them that, would be utterly useless. I can't build anything. I can't grow anything. I can't manage anything. I don't know how a car works or a generator works or how to build a battery or how solar panels work. I don't even know how to hunt or how to gut a fish or how to build a fire without a lighter. Hell, I haven't even held a gun in about 15 years.
So, one of my goals is to develop a skill that would be of use to a community if society were to collapse.
I have decided to take up Aikido.
I originally wanted to take up Krav Maga, but I tried it and it did a number on my shoulder and hip joints. I also wasn't as keen on the energy of the place. I can't really put my finger on it, but it just wasn't what I need emotionally, I think. Even though I love the idea of being able to kick ass like a special ops warrior, I think Aikido is a better fit for me. Even though I am not a pacifist, I think my desire to become more centered and work on my anxiety, depression, and self-worth -- and my desire to eliminate my dependence on unhealthy coping mechanisms -- may be served well by the spiritual component of Aikido.
Mental Health
My anxiety has gotten bad recently. Some of it is situational -- just experiencing some extra stress and conflict in my life -- but some of it is mysterious. The other night my anxiety was so horrible, and I have no clue why. I hadn't had any alcohol, hadn't had anything terrible happen. It was simply there. It woke me up about 2am and I was up miserable for the rest of the night. One thought is that it was the soda I drank since I don't usually drink soda.
My depression has been bad the past couple of days, and it really hit me today. I am really down in the dumps, but I am trying to keep from emoting too much because my husband is in a really great mood and I don't want to ruin it for him. It might be PMS. I am due for my period soon, so that would make sense. I am starting to feel a bit overly sensitive. I HATE that. I feel crazy and it is embarrassing.
I drank. My goal was to go a year without alcohol, and I only made it a month without alcohol. It feels like SO MUCH LONGER. I had a very difficult conflict with someone, which made me feel like shit about myself and my anxiety was horrible, and so I had alcohol to chill out.
Fall of Society
I have come to the realization recently that, if society were to fall and we would have to return to a scavenging, tribalistic society not unlike the ones on The Walking Dead, that I would have no skills that would serve society. My "professional skills," if you can call them that, would be utterly useless. I can't build anything. I can't grow anything. I can't manage anything. I don't know how a car works or a generator works or how to build a battery or how solar panels work. I don't even know how to hunt or how to gut a fish or how to build a fire without a lighter. Hell, I haven't even held a gun in about 15 years.
So, one of my goals is to develop a skill that would be of use to a community if society were to collapse.
