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I fear by nature mediocre. I don't know if I should accept I am mediocre and stop judging myself for being mediocre, or figure out if I can change that about myself.
I am one of the weakest women the universe has ever created.
I am not looking for pity, just stating a fact. From a small child, I was very cynical and easily discouraged. It was built into my genes, and then encouraged by my environment, to not be tenacious. If I was bad at something, if I was the worst in the class at something, if my peers or teacher recognized me as less intelligent, less talented, more whiney, I walked away from it.
With my life most likely more than half over, with the time that I am left with and the gimpy body and forgetful brain that I have been fated to have, I wish to be the strongest woman that this woman has ever created.
I am not talking about physical strength, really. I want to be mentally strong. In order to do that, I have to embrace the suck. I have to develop metaphorical callouses on my brain as I push myself to do what I don't like in order to achieve what I want.
Now, that is a great goal to have. I just have no greater goal to work toward. I need to find one that I want.
I am one of the weakest women the universe has ever created.
I am not looking for pity, just stating a fact. From a small child, I was very cynical and easily discouraged. It was built into my genes, and then encouraged by my environment, to not be tenacious. If I was bad at something, if I was the worst in the class at something, if my peers or teacher recognized me as less intelligent, less talented, more whiney, I walked away from it.
With my life most likely more than half over, with the time that I am left with and the gimpy body and forgetful brain that I have been fated to have, I wish to be the strongest woman that this woman has ever created.
I am not talking about physical strength, really. I want to be mentally strong. In order to do that, I have to embrace the suck. I have to develop metaphorical callouses on my brain as I push myself to do what I don't like in order to achieve what I want.
Now, that is a great goal to have. I just have no greater goal to work toward. I need to find one that I want.
