arche_apeiron

My Heathenry is primarily defined by ethics, which functions on the innangard-utangard framework of relationships.

Whereas Christian faiths and the common liberal ethos both have a deontological view of ethics -- a behavior is in and of itself wrong regardless of context and who is involved -- Heathenry is based on a spiral of responsibility toward others. At the center is family and self, beyond that is friends and kindred, then neighbors and beyond, with that "beyond" greying into the utangard, in which sits those not to be trusted, those who bring chaos, those who will never consider my best interests in their own decision-making, and those who are my enemies.

In my opinion, Innangard and Utangard are not two positions. They are a gradation with self and family at one end and your enemies at the other.

This does not mean you cannot have compassion toward those in your utangard; it means you are not ethically bound to extend yourself or make yourself vulnerable to their own desires and needs. You still are ethically obligated to be socially appropriate and thoughtful toward those in your utangard (heck, it would be impractical and self-destructive not to). That is until they prove they are, in fact, a full-on enemy out to destroy your peace. If they prove themselves to be an enemy, to be assholes and treat your with disrespect, then you are permitted to return "kind for kind." You are not bound to "love your enemy" or to "turning the other cheek."

I have an ethical obligation to be sacrificial, honest, exchange gifts, and to be helpful to those in my innangard. I have no obligation to those in my utangard.

Now, to mix religious metaphors, when one's "cup runneth over" -- ie, you have a certain amount of social clout and power -- you become "privileged" to expand how you behave toward your utangard.

People in positions of "privilege" have more resources to expose themselves to the slings and arrows that the chaos that your utangard will inject into your life. Nay, it even means that the chaos will affect you less or even not at all.

To use a simplistic-but-not-completely-fair comparison, if you are a wealthy, financially stable white heterosexual relatively-attractive neurotypical cis-man with no health problems, your spiral is more expansive with more room for "the grey" than a poor POC neuro-atypical unattractive transwoman. One may argue that privilege means you in fact have a greater ethical responsibility than others do not have toward your utangard, though my inner jury is still out on that.

This is something that I struggle with when traveling abroad. The poorest in Third and Second World countries are not above deception of strangers in order to get by. This still gets me irate, because, being an American, my privileges give me the freedom to be kind to and trusting of strangers. We Americans have a much more expansive innangard, and our greying spiral is much more expansive, as well.

Now, this concept gets messy and isn't entirely useful. The concept of privilege gets tossed around like a weapon against people, and I have grown to dislike it because of its overuse amongst liberal circles (especially the SJW ilk) as if privilege functions like a junior high school math problem where you just input a number between 1 and 10 and out comes the result. That is simplistic and downright prejudiced because life and society and social interactions just don't function so black and white. White heterosexual men (your typical go-to "privileged group" in online battles) can be vulnerable to great difficulties and social, emotional, and psychological strain just as any other human. When used simplistically and as a weapon, it becomes a toxic concept that people are hell-bent on using as a tool for shutting down peoples' valid struggles and experiences for the sake of their anger or self-promotion.

And, indeed, no matter who you are, you do not have a right to use your "underprivileged" labels as an excuse to be an asshole or to neglect your duties to be a decent human being. I don't care how poor you are, how neuro-atypical you are, or how queer you are, you have a duty to hold up your side of the established social contracts with those who have honored it with you. If they are not your enemy, have proven to you to be honest and good people, if you have exchanged gifts, or they have opened their home or heart to you in a genuine act of frith, then even if you don't include them in your most central circle of family, friends, or kindred, don't be a dick. If you are a dick, you look bad, your family looks bad, your kindred looks bad, and your culture looks bad.

But I am getting off topic.

I need to get used to the fact that those who do not have a Heathen ethic -- they even exist amongst Heathens -- will judge me for being ethically inferior to them for not holding a traditionally liberal/Christian ethical standard of behavior. I may be seen as less loving, less caring, less honest because of how I act toward those in my utangard. They may even label me as "lacking integrity" or being "disingenuous" because I am not above, for my own or my family's survival, lying to a person or organization who cannot be trusted and will dispose of me in a flash. Because people who hold the deontological ethic, to them, lying is lying is lying, and lying is always unethical.

Don't get me wrong. I am not an unfeeling asshole. I donate food and money to the food bank, support Wounded Warrior and the local cat shelter and have served food at homeless shelters. In fact, I have repeatedly opened myself to being dishonored because I have a tendency to be too helpful, too trusting, too willing to sacrifice my own happiness, even for strangers.

Helping those in your "stone's throw" utangard (the ones right over the wall) is honorable.

Repeatedly making yourself vulnerable to their manipulation, exploitation, and attack is not only unwise, it is unethical and leads to your dishonor.