Spiritual Flake

 I am a bit of a contradiction. 

 

Religion is an obsession of mine.

 

I am an agnostic atheist/pantheist.

 

I am a member of a Heathen kindred, occasionally attend a progressive Christian church and a Buddhist Center.

 

As an anti-antitheist agnostic atheist/pantheist, I can existentially "take on" the spiritual frameworks of different socio-religious milieus, finding truth and beauty and personal and communal value in a number of them (though not all of them), even if I do not believe in them literally. 

 

I see many spiritual/religious labels as not simply theological designations but community-identity designations. I also find shunning religion entirely and embracing a science-based relationship with the universe in all its beauty and complexity very edifying and a breath of fresh air, as well. Sometimes I need a break from the mythopoetic languages and, dare I say, "magical thinking" that so many religious people have.

 

This fluidity and contradictory nature of mine has proved both consistently problematic and yet not uncommonly beneficial. 

 

To people who take a literalist view of their deities or mythopoetic heritage, people like myself can make them uncomfortable. They take my symbolic take on their beliefs as judgmental of their beliefs, and see my hokey-pokey way of moving through the spiritual traditions -- and my consistent need to say "I don't believe in any of this and I don't find it at all edifying and I need a break" -- as confusing and too utilitarian or appropriative. The more militant Pagans, Christians, and atheists view my ilk with great derision.

 

What other people think of me is none of my business, though.